A Dreamer's World

Over My Head

2012-01-15T20:30:00.000-06:00

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Last Sunday I was scheduled to work. This, I did not know, until I got a call at 11am with someone on the other side telling me I was supposed to have opened that morning at 9am. Someone told me the wrong information. I rushed my butt into work at 11 and though the time went fast, we had to play catch up. I had to keep telling myself it wasn't my fault because I do that: make things bigger than they are sometimes. I got over it.

Later that Sunday night I met with friends to discuss our new workout/healthy lifestyle/"go team go" life we wanted to go for. I was exhausted from working and exhausted from being sick the week before and school was going to start the next day. I was not prepared for school. I was not prepared to tell my friends about my goals and aspirations. I was not prepared to work Monday and Tuesday before classes, especially after the Sunday.

I still feel out of sorts. My cold got better--less coughing and nose blowing. Classes started and I'm learning my way around them so I know what I have to do each week. I worked, for the first time really during school, or at least went school started with full vengeance. I am a little over my head.

Right now my head hurts. The Packers lost today, inducing a winter/football depression amongst many fans, including myself. I need to think about school. I need to think about my own writing. How am I supposed to do that when my team lost? I suppose it's better this way? I can get things done? Yeah I don't agree so much. It's annoying.

I need to get going with my workouts with my friends--get my gym membership. I need to schedule personal writing time, thesis writing time, class writing time. I need to schedule homework time and work time (it would help if I knew my schedule more than a few days in advance). I need to clean/put away my apartment, my room, my life.

I'm frustrated and I feel bad saying that this post is making me a little more frustrated. I'd like to scream right now--like how I did when Ryan Grant fumbled the ball in the game today. I don't think I've ever screamed that loud/high inside and at a TV. Boo.

101 Things

2012-01-06T13:31:00.000-06:00

I feel like I'm out of the loop of the New Year posts, but I've been sick. Much like last year, although this sickness didn't put me out of commission New Year's morning, but New Year's night, it was considerate like that.

Thinking about my resolutions from last year made me think about my resolutions for this year naturally. Among wanting to work out and write more, I felt like there should be a bunch of things on my list. A few bloggers I read have 101 things to accomplish in 1001 days. I realized I needed to start making a list. And a list I did.

This idea comes from the Day Zero Project. A community where you can sign up, make your list, and check it off. I went to the site for ideas and inspiration, but didn't sign up. I'm going to do most of the crossing off and writing here on my blog.

I feel like I did a good job with picking things that were reasonable to complete and weren't all too pricey or out of my price range. While I don't think I'll accomplish anything today, I wanted to start so I could end on my birthday in 2014. Keep up to date on how I'm doing by clicking 101 Things in 1001 Days at the top. Plus there will be regular posts.

Seriousness

2011-12-19T16:06:00.000-06:00

In the spring of 2010 I started taking an anti-depressant. I'd taken one before, a few years before, but this one was a different brand, a higher dose. I was still confused and scared about my parents splitting up the December before (fyi: they're back together, in the same house) and I had other anxiety issues. They started me at 50mg and then upped me to 100mg, even though the 50mg was working pretty well.

I'm a pretty emotional person to begin with and these pills were like magic. I stopped crying at the drop of a hat (or more specifically when I received criticism, got in trouble for something stupid, or just got sad). It was nice not being so overly emotional, especially in front of others. But I did feel kind of numb, like I should have been having more feelings than I was experiencing.

Fast forward to March of 2011 when I had a bi-lateral pulmonary embolism. It was a blood clot. I could have died. I realized this later, after having let it sink in. I also realized I should have been more scared, had more of a reaction. My mom cried every time the doctor came to talk to us. The only time I cried was a week later when, in the E.R., a nurse tied the tourniquet super tight and left a bruise.

I started thinking about cutting my dose in half and I told my doctor this. He wasn't the one that put me on the medication in the first place, he was just filling my prescription. He asked me why and I couldn't really explain it, possibly because my mom was in the room when I was on the phone, but he said I could make my own decision. I contemplated this for months--through the summer, at the beginning of the semester, and in the middle of the semester. I even mentioned a few times it scared me how much I didn't care.

It's a difficult decision to make. If I lower the dose will I turn into an emotional wreck? If I lower the dose will I become more anxious? More nervous? More paranoid? I didn't lower the dose during the semester, just in case. And now here it is after the semester. And I did it. I cut my dose in half a few days ago.

And the reason for this post...this serious post before the holidays...I felt like I needed to talk about it. And I've been having dreams where I break down crying, so that's kind of scary.

Watch out world! Although I rather be somewhat emotional than numb to living life :)

Cake Balls and Novelists

2011-12-14T16:29:00.000-06:00

(Wow, two posts in a day?!)

Recently my semester ended. I wanted to make something fun and yummy for my final Novel Workshop class. We were all getting together to read our final paragraphs, eat bad (for you) food, and wear princess crowns. I know this makes you want to be in an MFA program now.

So, I made cake balls. I have been wanting make cake balls for a while now and I finally did. Everyone raved about them. They were super yummy! I made two different kinds: devil's food cake with chocolate fudge frosting and yellow cake with vanilla frosting. Both were covered with chocolate.

Bakerella has a really good step by step recipe for them, plus many different variations, but they are pretty easy. Bake cake, crumble, add frosting, roll into balls, freeze/cool, dip in chocolate.

I made them for the Novel class but then I thought I should bring them to my CNF workshop too (since I like to butter people up before they criticize my writing). They were a hit there too.

I need to fill you in on the novel party a little bit. We wore crowns, with a title on them "Novelist." After we had shared our last paragraphs and were given awards (I won for most words cut, 44,000+) and given advancements. We were sitting around eating cake balls, drinking beer, or eggnog and we just started coming up with cake ball titles. Soon we were on a roll... "To Kill a Cake Ball" "The Girl Who Played With Cake Balls" (my favorite) "Harry Cake Balls" (we came up with the whole series), "No Cake Balls for Old Men" etc.... This went on for about half an hour and then continued on Facebook. Soon, people who weren't even at the party were joining in, some not even English majors. It was fun with people understood.

Now you wish you were one of us, right?

Here we are in all of our Novelist, Princess, Post and Pre Cake Ball Glory:

Thanksgiving Nibbles

2011-12-14T16:03:00.000-06:00

Sorry this post is super late, but better late than never!

My parents came to visit me in MN. Since I have never cooked a Thanksgiving meal, there wasn't a chance it was going to happen. My mom assured me I would have plenty of time to do so in the future.

What I did plan was a Game Day Meal. The Packers were playing and we had to watch the game. This meant that any restaurant serving a Thanksgiving meal would be closed when the game was over. It was fine. It would be an untraditional Thanksgiving.

Here's what I made: (sorry, the only picture I took was blurry)
Sinfully Stuffed Potato Skins (Rachel Ray)

Mini Pumpkin Pie Croissants

There was also Cheese, Sausage, and Crackers; Pumpkin Bars made by my mom; Chips and Dip; Salsa and Chips; and Lil' Smokies. I made the Lil' Smokies by heating up Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce and adding brown sugar to sweeten it a little and then I added the wienies.

After our Game Day party we played cards (Euchere) and then went out to dinner at a bar/pub. It was pretty good food. Oh, and we also had pie from Baker's Square which was awesome.

Instead

2011-11-14T15:37:00.000-06:00

Instead of working on my words this week, I am writing a blog post. This blog post to be exact, although I'm sure you knew that. I haven't written here in a while, but I have written elsewhere. I'm putting words on paper (or words on the screen). That's what a writer is supposed to do, right?

Instead of working on my words this week, I am browsing Pinterest. I am addicted to this site. I love the clean, simple, picture form of this site. I am obsessed with finding quotes and funny sayings. I'm a writer, I live for words. I am also having fun planning my "wedding" and my "home" and creating an online recipe box.

Instead of working on my words this week, I am thinking about everything else I have to get done. My parents are coming to visit next week for Thanksgiving. My apartment is a mess. I did three loads of laundry this past weekend (yay clean towels!) and cleared off the dining room table of all the junk mail I get. I need to mail a letter to my new pen pal and create a care package for them. I need to finish my friend's birthday present (her birthday was last week) and give it to her.

Instead of working on my words this week, I am writing other things, mostly in my head. Which isn't a bad this necessarily but it's not words for my novel. But I am figuring out my revision for CNF, which is nice.

Instead of working on my words this week, I am re-reading the 44,000 words I have written and am trying to decide if it's worth it to keep going. I feel like this particular novel is a bust, but I still have three weeks left of class, so for those three weeks, this novel is gonna happen. I kind of feel that if I've changed this novel dramatically 3 times, then I don't know, but something. I can't even form words to communicate how I feel about this.

Instead of working on my words this week, I am going to Target. Yup, right now, when I log off I'm going to go spend money I shouldn't spend on things that I don't (but do kinda) need.

The words will get done eventually.

A Few Things

2011-10-15T22:29:00.000-05:00

This may be Part I of a series, only because I haven't written in a long while and there is a lot to talk about. So keep your eye out for "A Few More Things" or something like it.

A few weeks ago a high school friend passed away from cancer at 23. It was difficult to deal with because she was such a nice person. I remember her smile and her kind heart and positive attitude. She was one of the good ones. This proves life is short. I was upset at the beginning of that week because of two bad workshop experiences back to back. It was a moment where I didn't have hope for my future in writing because I was so discouraged. I got over it quickly when I woke up one morning and this lovely girl had passed.

I turned 24 about two weeks ago. Some people I meet don't believe I'm that old. That's okay because I don't even feel like I can be that old. Sometimes it doesn't help when I'm in class or interacting with people who are older and wiser and have way more life experience than I have. I recently went shopping with my friend who always dresses so cute. I am most comfortable in jeans and T-Shirts, which is what the majority of my closet holds. I told my friend I think it's because I went right from college to graduate school with no break. I didn't hold a high end desk job where I had to dress in business attire. I'm okay with wearing sweatpants around, but I realize it makes me seem younger to most. I didn't do much on my actual birthday besides treat myself to a pedicure. The next weekend I went to Minnesota's Largest Candy Store and later, Oktoberfest in New Ulm. (I'll likely post separately about the trip)

I'm deciding I don't want to be a Creative Non-Fiction-ist. Don't get me wrong, I love writing about myself. Who doesn't? But sometimes it's discouraging hearing your professor say "So what? Why should I care about this?" I want to make people care about what I'm writing but I guess I'm not doing it in an entertaining way. This is fine though, this realization. I'm good with declaring Fiction as my focus.

Sorry this seems so depressing. I'll try to post on the lighter side next time. On the up side, I am going home next weekend. I haven't been home since August. I miss Wisconsin.

Ten Years

2011-09-11T12:44:00.000-05:00

Lots of people have been posting blogs about where they were ten years ago when planes struck the Twin Towers, Pentagon, and into a Pennsylvania field. Here's mine:

Ten years ago I was 13, in 8th grade. It was first hour and I was in F/CE class (Family and Consumer Education). I don't remember if my teacher got a call or if the TVs just turned on, but there it was on the screen. It had to be after the first plane hit one of the towers because of Central time, we didn't start school until 8am. My teacher was on the phone trying to reach her husband while I sat there watching with shock and horror. I heard the words Chicago, either on TV or from my teacher, and all I could think about was my aunt who lived there at the time. Would there be another attack so close to home?

We watched the news in a few classes that day. I can't remember if it was on in every class. I think as a 13 year old I wasn't exactly sure how it would impact me, but I knew it was going to be one of those things where you'll always remember where you were. I was part of the group that grew up with the war and the attacks playing in the background. I knew I was scared and I was sad. I listened to a lot of political songs, God Bless The USA and I'm Proud To Be An American.

I was on the yearbook staff that year and we had a spread for remembering the day. I wrote a small paragraph about what happened and we included some quotes. There are also Twin Towers on our class banner. September 11th will be a day no one will forget, especially those that lived after it.

Credit

In memory of those who died during and after the attacks, fighting for our freedom. Thank you.

Where In the World

2011-09-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

Yes, I do wish I was playing or watching Where in the World is Carmen San Diego...but for now it's an update on me. So where in the world have I been? No where specific really.

I'm back at school in MN for my second year of grad school. Most Masters programs take two years but mine takes three. Which is fine with me since the job market is pretty sucky for us English majors. Who majors in English anyway??? Ugh, the Internet says you can do a lot with an English major but the Internet is a liar!

Anyways...I'm back in MN and things are going interestingly. First, I got a job. Woo! Job! I work at Subway. Yup, I had that job when I was in high school. It's okay, really. I like knowing pretty much what I'm doing. I always feel bad for the people that get stuck with new people, so I'm glad no one can look at me like "Ugh, I have to train her?" Second I'm in a novel workshop class. Yup, NOVEL. Yes, that does mean I am writing a novel. The only "fun" part so far is telling people I'm writing a novel. It sounds important. It sounds like I'm doing something with my life. It sounds...untrue, but it is. I have 60 pages to prove it!

So I'm trying to balance school and work, even though I only have two days of class a week. This has led to a messy apartment for the past two weeks as I get adjusted to that schedule to have my health fail me again. Of course when things are looking up there is always something that sends me to bed and zaps me of energy.

That's where I am. Just wanted to let you know. I promise to come back soon :)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Brownies

2011-08-07T21:06:00.001-05:00

I found this recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookie Brownies on Bakerella. These are soooo easy to make.

Ingrediants:

One box of Original Supreme Betty Crocker Brownie mix.
One pouch of Betty Crocker Chocolate Chip Cookie mix.
All of the other ingredients the pouch and box say to add (I think, oil, water, eggs, and butter)
One can of frosting.

Just make the brownies as directed on the back of the box and pour the batter into a 9x13 pan. Then make the cookies as directed on the back of the pouch. Place scoops of the cookie batter on top of the brownie batter and bake for how long the brownie box says. Once cool, spread on the frosting. Simple!


Before the frosting.

The first time I made these brownies I made chocolate ganche for the topping. It is sooo good and sooo rich! I was making these for class, so I was lazy and just used a can of frosting, which tastes just as good. You can find the ganache recipe on the same Bakerella page.

Also, make sure the middle is done all the way by checking with a toothpick. My first batch were super gooey.

Better Than Sex Cake

2011-07-13T12:00:00.001-05:00

Yummm, doesn't that look good?? Well, it sure was tasty!!

I found this recipe for Better Than Sex Cake and then I read through the comments. There are a lot of variations to this recipe, so I suggest trying a couple or just using the ingredients you like. Some don't use hot fudge, some omit the sweetened condensed milk, and some use Devil's Food instead of German Chocolate cake.

Here's what I did

Ingredients:
One box cake mix - I used German Chocolate.
Caramel Sauce - I used Smuckers
Hot Fudge Sauce - I used Smuckers
One small can Sweetened Condensed Milk
One tub of Cool Whip
One King Size Heath Bar

Bake the cake following the directions on the box. When the cake comes out of the use end of a wooden spoon to poke holes in the cake. Then pour the Sweetened Condensed Milk over top of the cake, making sure to pour some directly in the holes. Then pour caramel sauce over the cake. I just used what I thought was enough, probably half of each, maybe more of the milk. Some of the recipe suggestions said to heat the condensed milk and caramel in a pan before pouring over the cake, but the cake is still hot and it works to just pour the two over the cake.

Let the cake cool and let the caramel and condensed milk soak into it. I left my cake over night. The next morning I spread the whole tub of Cool Whip over the cake and then I heat up the hot fudge and drizzled it on top. Then I drizzled caramel over the top. Then I crushed the Heath bar and sprinkled that on top.

It's pretty simple to put together! I put the cake in the fridge when we got to the hotel for the party and when I brought it home it went back in the fridge. Probably tastes fine to leave it out, but who likes warm Cool Whip?

Bachelorette Party and Review

2011-07-12T23:38:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I headed up with some of my best friends to Wisconsin Dells for my friend Alex's bachelorette party. We met up with some of her friends from school and had an amazing weekend! I had sent out these invitations and there were 8 girls total. It was the perfect group to celebrate Alex's last weekend as a single girl.

Dinner at Marley's! You were able to draw on the tablecloth!

Alex outfitted with bachelorette gear! It was pretty funny to see those penises bobbing around.


Sorry it's a little blurry--Alex trying to guess who brought which pair of underwear. She wasn't very good at this game but she got to keep all of them!

Overall it was a very successful and fun weekend! I can't tell a lot of specific things, because, you know, what happens in the Dells, stays in the Dells. lol.

What I would like to comment on is the hotel we stayed at. We stayed at Mt. Olympus Resort. I had reserved a room for 8 people and we ended up having 8 people, so that worked well. I wanted to find a room with a living area so we could play games and not have people sit on beds. Plus we got a full kitchen too, so we had a big fridge to store food and drinks! I knew going into the room there were only 6 sleeping spots (two queen beds and a pullout). So right away I called the front desk and asked for two cots. Then they told me they could only give us one, and we would have to pay for it.

Okay, I paid for a room with 8 guests. We needed an exact number to get the wristbands, so it wasn't like I was adding more people to our room or anything. I'm not usually one to confront people but I let the front desk person have a little attitude. I couldn't understand why I could reserve a room for 8 people and not get enough sleeping spots for them. Apparently 2 cots would be a fire hazard or they didn't have enough to lend out 2 for a room. Even if we had brought an air mattress, that still would have been a fire hazard. So I hung up and let everyone know what had happened.

Then Alex called the manager. Honestly I wish I had thought of that because I would have liked to give someone else a little more attitude. So, Alex spoke to a manager and we explained the situation. I don't know if he said anything about being able to book a room for 8 people with only 6 sleeping spots, but in the end we got 2 cots and only had to pay for one.

It was a really nice room and the cots fit in fine. We had two bathrooms and enough rooms for people to sit and talk. Mt. Olympus has an indoor and outdoor waterpark and an indoor and outdoor theme park. Saturday night the theme park was open late, so we went to ride Go Karts. The only down side about that was you were only able to go around once. I'm not sure if it was because of the condensed hours or what, but it was too short for the amount of time you spent in line. Sunday we went to the indoor water park since it was raining in the morning and it was super crowded. Probably because it was super small. I really couldn't believe how small it was. It had a lazy river, one big slide, and some kid areas. Luckily the rain let up and we were able to enjoy the outdoor rides. The water was cold but once we got used to it, it was fine. The slides were fun and the wave pool was awesome! It had 9 foot waves!

The only other complaint I have about the resort is the parking issue. The wristbands we got with our hotel stay were good for the day we checked in until the next day at close. Technically our parking pass expired at noon the last day of our stay but we decided we were having too much fun and didn't leave until after 1:30. The only other parking option was on the other side of the park and we would have to pay $10.00! And since I'm on the parking issue, they should really revamp their parking lots since most spaces were a tight squeeze, especially for a person with a mini-van, which my friend drove.

Oh, well, I guess we fought the system as hard as we could. And also the girl who doesn't know how to turn onto a two lane road without a stop or yield sign...

Observations

2011-06-27T14:53:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Tomorrow I have a colonoscopy scheduled. And right now I can't be more than 10 feet away from a bathroom. Hopefully they figure out what's going on tomorrow and switch my medicine or something. There is a possibility I will be put on Remicade, which is a medication given through IV. So as I wait for my appointment tomorrow and my next round of pills later tonight, here are some random observations.

What happens when the kids from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition grow up? The builders put two little kids in a room or they share a bathroom with sinks their height, but do they come back and make the sinks more acceptable? What happens when a baby, who gets a Pooh nursery, grows up and realizes his/her siblings have a kick ass sports room with a slide from the top bunk and a secret passage way to the playroom?

How come in the movies (my example comes from Date Night), when the brakes on a car go out, the driver freaks out but keeps driving forward? And usually they crash into a guardrail and down a mountain and into a lake. Why don't they just turn the wheel and continue driving on the street while weaving around and honking at other cars? Wouldn't the car just eventually slow down?

Yesterday I was at a bridal shower for my BFF and we brought up the subject of someone objecting at the wedding. Someone wanted to know what would actually happen. I said something would only happen if 1. The objector was a past lover or new lover of the bride or groom and they are proclaiming their love. The bride or groom would then leave the alter and join them or the objector would get punched out by the groom (or bride) or a member of the bridal party. 2. I think I've seen movies or TV shows where parents aren't please with their children marrying someone, so that is another possibility. But really, what would the officiate say or do if someone were to stand up and object?

When one of the only "solid" foods I'm allowed to eat before my appointment tomorrow is Jell-O, it would only make sense that 6 or the 7 or so boxes we have are red (which I cannot have) and one box is Lemon and it looks like it came from the 1950's. Does Jell-O expire? I wouldn't eat it anyway, since I'm pretty sure Lemon Jell-O should not be eaten by itself.

The last time I had a colonoscopy I could barely swallow the pills they gave me because I was so sick already. My mom ended up crushing them into Gaterade. To this day, there are a couple flavors of Gaterade which I cannot drink. I'm wondering if I'll be able to drink any water after today. 30 ounces of water is a lot. And I just realized the single serve Kool-Aid packets I have are cherry. BOO red!!

Oh, and if you'd like to win a poster, I have a giveaway going on until Thursday. Check out the post before this one!!

DIY Corset Invitations

2011-06-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

One of my best friends (from 2nd grade!) is getting married in July and I have the honor of being a co-MOH (that's Maid of Honor) and planning her bachelorette party! I had grand ideas and the invites were one of them. I had a lot to live up to as my friend Sam designed the wedding invitations (which are super cute!). Mostly my ideas included Word Art. If you don't know what Word Art is, then you're missing out.

So I was working one day at Michaels. A customer came through my line with cute scrapbook paper and I asked her what she was going to make and she said she was making bachelorette invites. So that got me to thinking. I'm crafty. I can cut and glue and glitter. I went in search of creative ideas on the World Wide Web (that's the Internet to all you young things). I found a few corset designs and found templates for corsets (I Googled). I enlarged the templates so I could fit more information on the cards and this is what I came up with:

(Sorry about the black lines, personal info) I traced the purple paper into a corset shape. I printed the information on a creamy colored cardstock and glued it to the inside. I then poked holes and pounded eyelets (with the back end of a screwdriver!) and then laced ribbon through it. Half way through I ran out of ribbon so some of the invites are laced up with regular curling ribbon and it looks awesome either way!

Because we are doing hotels and some other information needed to be relayed to the invitees, I just included the basic Where and When on the inside of the invite and included a small piece of paper with other information. Then I didn't have to cram everything onto the invite and everyone still got the information they needed!

Here's another view:

Thank you to Sam for taking the pictures! (I was too excited to get them out that I forgot!) And I have been getting awesome responses from the invitees!

And visit AnEcoSamDesign and Sam's Porfolio to see what great work she does!

Summa Summa Summa Time!!

2011-05-31T22:58:00.000-05:00

Picture Credit

Finally! I was just thinking about summer never getting here and here it is, in full force no less! Even though school got out at the beginning of May, summer doesn't really start until June, at least in the Mid West. But it's so nice to have summer weather with summer vacation now.

What have I been up to? Not a whole lot. I started a paper garland project. I was interrupted with that project with the project of making bachelorette invites for my BFF. There will eventually be pictures of both. The invites took me a while because they required lots of tracing and cutting.

I've also been reading and watching movies and catching up on TV shows. I'm almost caught up on Brothers and Sisters. I've finally gotten to Season 5 of Dexter. I have also seen Inception and Hot Tub Time Machine. I have finished The Girl Who Played With Fire and Two Kisses for Maddy. I'm in the middle of A Widow's Story by Joyce Carol Oates.

I've been working too, although not as much as I would like to. I had to get help from my parents for rent and food money. I really hate asking for it, but I'm really happy and appreciative of my parents for helping me out. I'm also working on a novel this summer too. It's so weird to say that, but it's true! I have a workshop next semester for novel writing and we have to have 50 pages done by the first day of class. I'm hoping the story I have in my head works out on paper.

Picture Credit

Date a Girl Who Reads

2011-05-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

Found at The Monica Bird (through stumbleupon). It was originally written by Rosemarie Urquico (who wrote it for her friends on Facebook).

What I'm Lovin'

2011-05-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

1. I'm Loving...Chewy Sweetarts! My candy of choice last week and this, chewy and sweet!

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2. I'm Loving...having several days off to clean my room. I now have a bedroom floor!

3. I'm Loving...tuna sandwiches. Weird, I know, but I made an awesome one today with pickles! Yum!

4. I'm Loving...a goose who is protecting her eggs. There is this one goose who I always see when driving to work and she is always sitting on what I assume are her eggs. It's so cute! And I feel bad for her because it's been storming and raining the past few days.

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5. I'm Loving...possible craft projects. I have so many project ideas in my head! I can't wait to use my Michaels coupon later this week to get some fun stuff! I'll most likely post about each project as I do them or post a list of what I would like to do.

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Writing Community - Tanya Egan Gibson

2011-05-17T16:00:00.004-05:00

Even though school is over there is one more Writing Community post I would like to put up. Tanya Egan Gibson was the first to respond to my e-mail inquiry for this project. It surprised me to see her reply so quickly and readily! As many authors are, Tanya has been busy with family and writing projects. She made good on her promise for a post, so here it is! If you're on Twitter, check her out! Also, she was on a panel at AWP, which can be viewed here. I wish I would have gotten to see that panel, but I was snowed out! Anyway...here's what Tanya has to say:

Did you always want to be a writer? How did you start?

I don't know that I always wanted to be a writer, but I know this: I write because I am weird, and I've always been weird. So I guess by one of those mathematical properties (communicative? associative? double-counter-extra-anti-intuitive?), I was always on this writing path, whether or not I knew it.

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What I mean by "weird": I don't think linearly. And I believe, all evidence to the contrary, in the unlikely over the likely. Things most people find aesthetically pleasing often just don't do anything for me; most things that I find beautiful strike other people as odd or ugly. (So, for instance, when I write about an overweight, socially-clumsy girl being the most beautiful thing--the only thing that *matters*--in the life of a hot, rich young man, I'm not trying to "construct" an odd relationship or situation. I'm writing what makes *sense* to my brain.)

Anyway, for as long as I can remember, books seemed like the most honest places—where characters could be honest about their oddities, and where emotional truth was far more important than verisimilitude. Books were where life could be lived out the way it was supposed to be.

I don't remember ever not writing--as a child, throughout high school, and through college, where I took a ton of creative writing classes in college, though my concentration, technically, was in literature. (I met the best guy in the world in one of those classes, by the way--and, reader, I married him.) But I didn’t start writing in a “This is what I wish I could do with my life” way for years later, while I was teaching high school English.

My first attempt at a novel was kind of a mashup between a mystery and metafiction (set at a boarding school). I worked on it for about four years, rewriting and rewriting and kind of figuring out how one writes a book. It wasn’t very good (I couldn’t get an agent for it), but it taught me a lot—including that I really like putting together things that don’t necessarily “go” together.

When I started writing How To Buy a Love of Reading (which I began nearly ten years before it was published), I didn’t intend to write meta-fiction again. I intended to color within the lines this time and not “mash up” anything. But I ended up following my weird little heart again, writing a book that pokes fun of meta-fiction while being meta-fiction and a coming-of-age story.

Was/Is your family supportive? Did they ask you what you were going to do with your degree after you finished?

I didn’t go into an MFA program, so I didn’t have to endure the “What are you going to do with that?” questions from family. I think they were befuddled when I chose to leave my MA/PhD program in English (literature)—my grades were good, and hadn’t I been saying I wanted to be a professor, and didn’t I love books after all?

Well, yeah, I loved books. And in theory, I liked talking about literary theory. That is, I liked the idea of studying literature that way, but not the reality of it. I wanted to talk about how books made people feel, which is not the stuff of graduate school. It is the stuff of book clubs. But this back in 1990, before book clubs were ubiquitious. So I didn’t know that that what I was looking for.

My husband (and even my young children) have been very supportive of my writing, as have my friends and the wonderful writing group, The Tuesday Night Writers, who I have the pleasure and honor of working with. They supported me, especially, early on, when I doubted/worried about the unconventionality of my voice/writing.

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Why would a person who was transfixed, as I was, by meta-fiction and "usurping the male gaze" and all this very intellectual stuff, want to write about love in a very uncynical way and about crushes and about what it feels like when a hot guy smiles at you and about going to parties and girl-meanness and how wanting something (or someone) enough can make dreams turn real? None of this was the stuff of the literary fiction I was reading, so I kept thinking that people would like I was stupid or unsophisticated or whatever if I wrote about it. But this was the subject that made my heart thrum. I am forever grateful to friends and family who told me it didn’t matter if I “sounded” like the literary folks I was reading, and who told it was okay to follow my heart..

Where do you get your ideas?

I'm usually inspired by settings, places, "worlds." Everything, for me, arises from there. Who are the people who would live/work/go to such a place? What would those people want that they don't have? And of course--always--what (or who) makes their hearts thrum.

Do you have any writing rituals or quirks?

I write with headphones on, listening to music turned up loud. (I wrote about the “playlist” for How To Buy a Love of Reading here -- http://www.largeheartedboy.com/blog/archive/2010/08/book_notes_tany.html -- at Largehearted Boy’s wonderful site.)

Right now I’ve been blasting a lot of Adam Lambert and Taio Cruz—both of which “feel” like they might be playing in the imaginary theme park where my current novel-in-progress is set. Oh, and also “Fix You,” by Coldplay. When the music is loud, I kind of get into a zone and it turns off my internal editor, so I can just write straight through a draft instead of stopping to keep questioning my choices. Questions are for later in the process. Right now it’s about thrumming.

Mountains

2011-05-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

When we got to the mountains of sand near lake Michigan (the camp was in MI), we all stood in awe of the giant hills of sand in front of us. How was this possible? How could there be so much sand right there in Michigan?

We climbed. The sand particles hit our pant legs or bare skin, stinging. At one point it looked like we could step off the edge of this mountain and be lost forever. They jumped. Sand sprayed everywhere as their feet found leverage on the hill side.

Some boys traced their names with their feet while the girls looked on from the top. At the end there was a race. One boy fell, tumbled, summer salted half way down. The other ran past me, my breath caught, as it always did when he was near.

On our last day the sun shone and we went to the edge of the ice cold lake. Everything seemed infinite. Everything seemed bigger than we were. We had our whole world in front of us. Little moments in a pile of sand.

Crafty?

2011-05-06T17:39:00.000-05:00

Are you crafty? Or do you shop at Michaels? If so, would you like a coupon to use next week? If you answer yes to any of these questions print out coupons worth 20% off your entire purchase (sale items included!) and 60% your custom framing from May 12 - 14! Yay for savings! Click here to get the coupons!

What I'm Lovin'

2011-05-04T20:34:00.000-05:00

Let's see how long I can participate in this meme!

1. I'm Loving...that I'm done with the semester and my first year of Grad School!! This is such a nice feeling after the work I put in this past semester.

2. I'm Loving...Having time to read what I want!! --You know, as opposed to things for class.

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3. I'm Loving...Diet Mountain Dew!! After a long absence, I bought one today and drank it while taking my one and only exam. Seemed like everyone was downing pop today!

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4. I'm Loving...The weather!! Even though today was windy, it was warm and sunny!

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5. I'm Loving...Knowing that I will see some awesome friends next weekend!!

One Year Down

2011-04-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

I am (almost officially) done with my first year as an MFA student. I have a few things due next week along with an exam in one class, but I'm done with schedule classes and sitting through boring things.

Tonight I went to my fiction workshop's final reading. We were to prepare a 500 or less word story to share. The piece was supposed to entertain, whether that be funny or just powerful. I wrote about something dark. So dark that I could barely write the last paragraph because I did not enjoy it. I asked a few people how it was and they said it was unexpected. Which would make sense since 20% (yes, we decided on 20%) of the class had written a story about or with the reference of a penis. Those were quite entertaining. So, yes, I wrote something entertaining (I hope!) in a different way and I allowed myself to go somewhere where I didn't necessarily want to go.

We brought food. We shared stories (about poop and freak shows) and laughed. I laughed until I couldn't breath (never mind that my asthma has been acting up). We ate the food we brought, too much food for some, many carbs.

On an unrelated note...my finger hurts like hell. It's hot and sore and I have no idea what to do about it. My nail is trimmed and okay. The cuticle hurts. This happens but I'm usually able to fix it. Did I mention it hurts? If someone has a remedy please share. Thanks.

So I was going to write a nice Easter post about memories and whatnot but I had to get stuff done and I was going and going on Monday (work, class, baking, and homework). Oh, I made Oreos in a Blanket. I'll post the recipe/pictures later. Anyways...the Easter post didn't happen and I feel like it's too late. Main point is, Easter was fun...hunt for baskets, hunt for eggs (cry over not finding a lot of eggs), fly kites, eat food, hang out with cousins and other family. This past Easter I had chicken nuggets, corn, and rice for Easter dinner. It's weird being away from home for holidays. Even though my family doesn't do anything any more for Easter I still would have liked to have been home, especially since my dad admitted they were going to have steak. He tried to tell me they were going to have burgers, he didn't want me to feel bad.

Oh well, at least I didn't have to share my Easter candy (that I bought for myself). P.S. The crazy Starburst jelly beans with one flavor on the inside and one on the out are amazing!

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And looking for pictures has reminded me of blowing the insides of eggs out in Spanish class in high school. I forget what holiday it was for, but we filled the hollowed eggs with seeds and went outside to smash them, mostly on someone's head. My teacher wore a poncho! A bright yellow poncho! We were told we could absolutely not smash an egg on her head. I guess she was scared. And she had a right to be with the people that were in that class. Haha.

More Than Writing Conference

2011-04-19T22:41:00.000-05:00

Are you going to be around Mankato, MN this weekend? If so, please come and check out the More Than Writing Conference at Minnesota State University Mankato! Here is the website with more information.

The conference was put together by a class I am in. The same class that I'm doing my Writing Community Project for. There are loads of things to do and see. There will be readings, panel discussions, a book fair, a chapbook swap, and much more! It runs from about 1pm on Friday until Saturday at about 5pm.

Oh, and I suppose I should mention that I am reading a piece. It's part of the 1st Year Readings going on. It's at 2:30 on Friday.

Coming Together

2011-04-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

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Pop open some bubbly people, cause this girl got a job today! YAY! It's at Michael's craft store and I am soooo excited! I'm pretty sure my parentals are even more excited for me!

I'm pretty impressed actually. I spent most of the weekend applying for jobs online. I looked at the school's job database thing, Craigslist, and also by visiting store's websites. I feel like I applied everywhere that I could think of. I even applied to Gander Mountain, saying "I have fished before" and "I have camped before" to their inquiries in what knowledge I have in those areas. Maybe I should have said I know what a hook does? Or, I know how to make an awesome fire?

Things are winding down with school for this semester. It's so hard to believe! I only have two weeks of classes left and one exam final. Normally, in Wisconsin, I would still have maybe 4 weeks left? It's nuts. Seriously, the weather needs to stabilize before school ends so then it will feel like summer! I have a bunch of projects and things left. I was going to tell you what I have left, but as I was typing I was realizing it was a lot. So when I get the list dwindled down, I'll let you know (because I'm sure you are curious!).

If you haven't already, check my Writing Community Project Posts out! There is a lot of information for writers from writers and bloggers! There is also information about writer's lives and what they do. There will also be a couple more to come! I was so excited when so many people wanted to help me with my project!

Writing Community - Ian Wood

2011-04-07T12:00:00.003-05:00

Ian Wood is the author of Writebastard, a blog about writing and his writing adventures. Below, he answers some questions I sent him. His first book, The Girl at the End of the World, will be available September 2011. ***Updated 6/20 with correct links!***

What is your writing background? What have you written, published? What are you currently working on?

I've been writing since I could write, which I discovered while going through a box of Ian Keepsakes that I found on the top shelf of a closet in my mother's house: a folded sheet of penmanship practice paper, with crudely drawn letters on one side and a story on the other. Fifty words, if that. It was about flying, and explosions.

Since then, I've written quite a bit more, although apparently I haven't gotten away from the whole explosions thing (I recall, while writing this, that several large explosions figure prominently in my first novel). My SAT scores were ridiculously lopsided towards the verbal. Throughout college I wrote papers days before they were due and never got anything other than an A. In short, writing is the only thing that I have any measure of talent for whatsoever.

Which makes me feel somewhat foolish, because although I had my first short story published in 1995 ("Where We Met," Home Planet News) I wasn't really taking the whole thing seriously. I'd send a few stories out, feeding my manila packets into the mailbox, getting rejected, making more packets, sending them out again. But I never established the cyclical, write-submit-get-rejected-do-it-again tenacity that nearly every capital "W" Writer seems to regard as essential to building a career.

There were probably a lot of reasons for that--wanting to have written, as opposed to wanting to write, the omnipresent fear of actually putting myself "out there," and so on--but in 2007 I realized that I was rapidly closing in on my 40th year, and hadn't really done the thing in my life that I most wanted to do, the one thing that I had a chance of doing somewhat decently. So I formed a couple of writers groups, attended the writers conference here in Santa Barbara, and committed to actually finishing a novel. I started my blog (www.writebastard.com), initially with the stated purpose of tracking my novel project from creation, through submission, and to publication, all within the space of one year (which was , of course, naïve and insane). The Internet replaced my old system of manila packets, and I got a few pieces of short and flash-length fiction published. One of those pieces ("It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Their Head Stuck in a 3,600-year-old Sumerian Pot," McSweeney's Internet Tendency) was translated into Spanish and published in Mexico and Spain, marking both my first international print publication and the first piece of fiction for which I received a decent per-word rate.

At one point, I discovered that all of my existing novel manuscripts had died somewhere around the 25,000 word mark. I was rapidly approaching that boundary with my current project, and so--because what I'd been doing up until that point had only gotten me as far as I was, if that makes any sense--I decided to do something entirely new: I hired an editor to kick my ass. I'd met her through the writers conference, and she was impressed with my work in a way that I was mostly sure had nothing to do with blowing smoke up my kick-worthy ass to secure me as a paying client.

This relationship has paid dividends, because since then my editor has founded a publishing company, and I'm no longer her client. My first novel, The Girl at the End of the World, will be published in September of 2011.

Do you have any weird/interesting writing quirks or rituals?

Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs, staggering quantities, really. I should be dead.

Which isn't really weird, or interesting. Or true, for that matter.

I really don't, except for the fact that for now I have rejected another piece of advice that every capital "W" Writer also seems to give: make writing a regular practice, like a job. Pick a time, sit down, write, do that every day, so on and so forth. It occurred to me, as I ran into this advice in every book-about-writing-written-by-a-successful-author that I read, that just because an expert tells you something doesn't mean that it's true for you. For various reasons, including full time employment and an ailing parent, that regular, standardized writing time was not going to happen for me. I got tired of feeling like I was doing something wrong just because I would snatch hours or minutes here and there as I could find them. Furthermore, I wondered if these successful writer-types remembered how they had done things before they arrived at the "write every day" practice they were currently in a position to enjoy. At some point, they had to do exactly what I was doing: write when they could, as much as they could, until their lives aligned around their writing. So I decided that I was going to write in my own way, in the way that fit into my life.

Would I have gotten to where I am now sooner, had I adopted that regularity of practice? Probably. But I also know that, like a lot of people, I don't do something until I'm damn good and ready to do it. It may be that at some point I'll arrive at the same conclusion other writers have (in fact, I'm kind of counting on it). But I hope that if I'm ever in the enviable position of giving advice to fledglings from some undeservedly-elevated position of small success, I will remember that above all else, you must write however you can, whenever you can, whether you can do it in a special dedicated place or not, whether you can do it two days in a row or not. You can't truly get where you want to go by using someone else's process.

Why do you blog? Do you feel it connects you to the writing community or do you do it for personal reasons?

When I started Writebastard, I thought that maybe the publicly-documented process of taking a manuscript from concept to (hopefully) publication would prove instructive, mildly useful, or, failing that, serve as a cautionary tale when I crashed and burned into eternal, depthless obscurity. That quickly proved to be a bit of overreach. For one thing: I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I couldn't say, "Look! I did this, and I got my book published!" I was at a point where I had no kind of authority, and although I had lots of opinions about this and that, it proved difficult for me to feel entirely good about promulgating them with what I felt to be a sort of unearned confidence. So my initial conceit for the blog project quickly faded away, along with the frequency of my posts.

I had a another, mildly successful blog from 2002 to 2008, which was described by a fan as a "conceptual train wreck." I wrote about anything and everything, including some pretty raw emotional stuff, missives from the depths of depression and alcohol, that sort of thing. I decided that Writebastard wouldn't include any of that, or anything personal that wasn't directly related in some way to my writing. But it took me until a few months ago to arrive at some semblance of balance between putting myself on the page as an individual and maintaining some boundaries, along with my own interest in the project. So now, it's become an odd mixture of some personal experience--which I justify by using the mantra of It's All Material--small random bits of fiction and ephemera, and posts about writing in general and my writing career. I do it now because I feel like doing it, which I think is necessary.

For a long while, I was hardly posting, and what little audience I had left for more interesting digital pastures. But I've started posting with greater frequency, and bit by bit people are coming back. When the novel comes out, I'll have assembled a vaguely-respectable collection of online verbiage that people who've read the book can visit to discover what a self-absorbed neurotic I am.

Random, philosophical question: If art (paintings, literature, etc...) is supposed to get people to 'feel' something, should that art still be out there if the art evokes feelings of terror or distress? Even if the piece of art makes most people uncomfortable, should it still be available to others? (this was just a question I was discussing with a friend last night, thought it was interesting).

Every piece of art that anyone creates should be available to anyone who wants to see it. And anyone who sees a piece of art should be absolutely free to express their opinion that said piece of art is a worthless assemblage of shite and Lincoln Logs, or not, for whatever reason their psychologies demand.

Writing Community - Julie Ewald

2011-03-31T07:00:00.020-05:00

Julie Ewald lives in Milwaukee, WI and received her MFA in Creative Writing from from Goddard College. Her personal blog is: Julie's Chatterbox and her blog focused on writing is The Pencil Sharpener. Below, Julie explains how blogging helped her become a better writer.

The Birth of a Blog

It had been almost a year since I had completed my MFA, and I had barely written anything. It was shameful how little time I had devoted to my craft, especially since I really didn’t have anything else to do.

My husband and I were living in Italy. I was teaching English, giving private lessons a few times a week out of our home, and my husband worked all day at a theatre school. We didn’t have a lot of money, so I spent most of my day at home or doing things like walking about the city and trying not to buy anything. I had plenty of time to write, but I just wasn’t. To say it plainly, I didn’t feel like it.

At that time I had been keeping a personal blog. I didn’t update it with any regularity, but it occasionally gave me something to do. It also gave me an idea. While writing a long and self-involved post on New Years’ resolutions, I decided to start a writing blog. It was an idea I had toyed with previously, but I suddenly had so much clarity about what I wanted to do, I just did it. The Pencil Sharpener was born.

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I envisioned The Pencil Sharpener as a place for any writer of any level working in any genre. It was created to be a place for both inspiration and information. The blog was to be a place where I could satisfy my immense need to share my passion with others, where I could help other writers to educate themselves. Even though I was overseas, even though I wasn’t employed as an educator, I was able to follow through with the intentions I had when embarking on my MFA program. I wanted to be a teacher, and through this blog, I became one.

Suddenly, I was also writing again. Sure, I was penning blog posts about writing and creating exercises, but I was also writing creatively. I realized that I was spouting off on the internet about writing and getting your creativity flowing, and I had to “walk the walk,” if you will pardon my cliché. I had to get my notebook out and get my pencil moving and try some of the exercises I was posting for myself.

At the same time, I found myself again involved in a community of writers – something I missed since finishing my MFA. To get inspiration for my posts and to stay abreast of current events, I found myself reading all sorts of blogs and journals, commenting on things that I found intriguing and getting into some discourse with other writers located all over the globe. I discovered exciting magazines, journals and other projects to submit to or participate in. Through blogging, writing became a huge part of my life again.

I feel more fulfilled, and I finally feel like a writer. Inspired by my small successes with The Pencil Sharpener, I have been propelled to do more writerly activities. This includes my involvement with the Umbrella Factory Magazine where I am the newest worker, which is code for “poetry editor.” I do my best to attend readings and other literary events in my hometown. I now set aside time, even if just a bit, to writing and my own creative development. Blogging has reinvigorated my love for the craft along with my ambition and drive. Not only do I feel like a writer, but thankfully, I do indeed feel like writing.